Fulfilled Dreams
by LaraSGCLena
Summary: She's only human as Sam has a breakdown in her backyard. Will Jack be able to heal her wounds?
1. Unfulfilled Dreams

~*~*~

Darkness fought its way to consume the light of the moon and the stars but just this hot night; it would cease and lay the battle down to a victorious full moon. The soft, warm wind guiding the clouds away from this night's exposure of nature's true beauty.

And in the midst of this forgotten miracle, there was a yard filled with bright green grass and forgotten blue and yellow flowers and one that did not fit this charming painting of nature.

A black rose. In full bloom, velvet petals surrounding a beautiful heart yet protected fiercely by thorns. Not to be touched, only to be craved.

But every occurrence may not seem what it is to be, what is told.

The rose was the shape of a blonde Air Force Colonel; Samantha Carter. As she lay there on the grass, dressed in only short shorts and a silken top, her hand held loosely around a glass filled with dark liquor.

There was no one else but her and a bottle of sweet nothingness. To help her forget but not forgive.

What if we lived our lives in regret? What if we make the wrong choices in this short life? What if….

Sam couldn't think anymore and frankly she didn't care.

The white rays of the moon was the only thing that somewhat soothed her; caressed her warm skin. The grass tickled her bare legs and arms. It was so quiet.

She felt so alone, so lost. Why wasn't he here? Why didn't she have the nerve to go to him and tell him that she needed him; wanted to share her life with him before it was too late.

What was she afraid of? She knew Jack loved her….

Did he?

Groaning and fighting against a sob, she took the glass and gulped the last of the alcoholic liquor down until she felt it burn its way down. She was gonna regret this in the morning but….

The bottle standing in the grass, waved her over and she filled up her glass yet again.

She didn't care. All she wanted was to be understood, to be loved.

To have someone to take her hand and pull her up. But she was falling and there were no wings to rescue her. She'd lost them along the way of life. Life isn't always fair and it's hard and cruel. And somewhere along that path, the path she'd chosen, she found it hard to keep fighting.

She was tired of fighting and as she felt the light breeze warm her skin, yet not clear her mind, she looked up at the sky to count the stars wondering how many lonely people were doing the same thing; wishing.

Wishing is good, wanting is okay but what if it turns to need? It scared her. It frightened her to feel how much she wanted Jack; needed him.

She had loved Pete…or had she? Was it not mere a try for a normal life? To prove that she was normal, that she could live a normal life. To punish herself for something she could not have?

She had cared for Pete but deep down she knew it was not love.

There was one man she loved, craved for. And craving was not a word Sam had ever used. Not even in her own mind or her wildest desires.

The words in her mind weren't making any sense. Feelings started to overwhelm her, crashing down on her as she realized…knew…Jack would be the only one she'd really love.

Emptying her glass, she felt herself slip into a drunken haze; a delirium where she wanted to cry and laugh, dance and sleep, scream and find silence.

To be held and left alone.

She was drunk and she didn't care. Never had she let herself go like that. That wasn't Sam Carter. Samantha Carter was always in control; of herself, her work, her emotions…

And for once, just this once, she wanted to lose control.

't Was just her, the moon and the night as it reached out its dark, comforting arms and embraced her, she let herself slip and smiled as a tear found its way down her cheek onto the grass. And it fooled her.

A loud creaking sound in the house alerted her, as she slowly pushed herself to a half sitting position and listened intently to the obvious footsteps coming towards her. Someone had come through her front door and walked directly to her backyard.

Why wasn't she going inside? Why wasn't she grabbing her gun? Where was her gun?

She couldn't think clearly. She was lost.

Lost to unfulfilled dreams and to a world that had burdened her.

~*~*~

We all break down sometimes and it's not always pretty to see or to know

and just this once, Sam's having a breakdown.

And for those wondering why the heck I choose to let Sam drink in this fleeting moment;

she's only human.

I'm also looking for a beta-reader :)

I'll be posting the second part tomorrow evening. Let me know what you think of it.


	2. Fulfilled Dreams

_Here's the final part._

~*~*~

Heavy but somewhat slow footsteps, as if that person hesitated, walked over the wooden patio, down the steps and softened when he walked over the grass towards her.

He.

Jack.

She'd recognize those footsteps anywhere, like she'd done over the past eight years. Had it already been eight years? What a fool she was.

Wait. Jack was here.

Her body tensed, her cheeks going bright red as she looked at the empty bottle of liquor next to her. She felt so ashamed.

So lost.

And yet there was a part in her that didn't care. Somewhere from deep within her, anger filled her heart ,and undoubtedly her eyes, as Jack stayed standing behind her. He must have felt her struggle within.

He was the one that didn't stop her from getting married. He was the one letting her go, letting her slip between his fingers. All those times she thought he loved her, maybe he wasn't who she thought he was.

A warm hand took the glass from hers and as their fingers touched just for a second, it send shivers down her spine; made her heart come to life.

No. He was exactly as she thought he was.

It was all so confusing. Why was he here? She couldn't think straight. Damn it. Of all the times he could pick to visit her, he had to pick the time she was letting go and getting herself drunk. Drunk enough to…

Not think clearly.

Why was he here?

"Carter?"

She could almost hear the disappointment in his voice. Sorry, Jack. But she just needed to let go. She was only human.

Please.

She hoped he could forgive her.

A warm body sat down next to her, his warmth oozing into her and caressed her heart, her spirit and her mind.

Why, Jack?

So hard.

Want him.

She snorted. Her mind couldn't handle one full sentence, the emotions crashing down on her. What this man did with her senses…

Why couldn't she look at him? Why didn't she reach out to him?

Did he say her name? Or was that in her drunken mind as well?

As the alcohol devoured her, her eyes filled with tears and she leaned back, letting herself fall onto the grass, looking up at the stars through her blurry vision of tears. God she was drunk. Too drunk to have Jack see her that way.

What should she say?

Her hand sneaked its way to him but bumped against her empty glass, she groaned and threw up her arms lazily to cover her eyes.

She just wished the world would stop spinning, that her stomach would stop complaining, that she didn't feel like throwing up.

She felt sick; ashamed.

Why was he still there? And why wasn't he reprimanding her?

Softly, hesitant at first, a warm hand touched hers; grasped it and caressed her knuckles.

Why did he do that? Why would he do that if he didn't want to fight for her?

"Why'd ya not fight?" She heard herself say the words but it didn't seem like she said them.

Somewhere in the distance a dog howled.

The hand kept caressing her fingers and wrist. Oh so softly. It felt so good. So good she wanted to cry.

But she didn't.

Instead, she reached out a sluggish hand to grasp onto the grass, to have a hold onto the world and make it stop spinning but she felt herself falling down into dark oblivion.

And she would've if it was not for Jack's warm hand, his soft breathing and his scent; the one that reminded her of safety…protection…and love.

But why didn't he fight?

Why didn't he answer? Did she ask that question or was it all in her drunk mind?

"Sir?"

Then she heard his answer and it broke her heart as she heard him cry. It overpowered her so much, she had never openly see him cry. She wanted to reach up and pull him down to her but she was too far away to-

He was crying.

A single tear splashed down on her nose and traveled down her cheek and neck and mingled with her own.

It was then that her soul broke and cried out as she listened to Jack cry. It broke her heart; her whole being. She knew he blamed himself, blamed himself for her pain and how she felt. What she was doing to herself right now.

You have to fight, Sam. Fight for him. You have to. Come on, fight that haze in your mind.

Her arms felt like lead but she blindly reached up and wrapped them around his neck, pulling him onto her. She wanted to feel him, comfort him; love him.

She had only wanted to punish herself but she had punished him too.

She inhaled his scent as Jack let himself be cradled by her. Their chests were crushed together, their hearts each trying to catch up to the other. To beat together, to find the rhythm of joining, of unity, of loved ones.

Jack slowly pulled himself off of her and softly, tentatively touched her face with his fingers, brushing her tears away, touching her lips, her neck and something must've snapped within him as he reached down and forcefully wrapped his arms around her body and pressed her against him.

It hurt but not enough to let go. It never hurts enough to let go and it had always been that way. For years and years. Sometimes love hurts.

She was afraid to reach out, afraid that the alcohol was forcing her to do things she wouldn't normally do but is it not said that those who are drunk speak of the truth?

She felt his warm breath against her neck, as he whispered to her, "I wanted to fight. I'm so sorry. I just wanted you to be happy."

"I know," she whispered back.

And so they lay on the grass, legs and arms tangled together, his face buried in her neck and it reminded her of a cold place; a place where he had almost died. Where she had almost lost him.

She'd lost him a lot. And yet he was still there even though he should be dead. She should be dead. But somehow, fate had brought them back together, time after time.

And she knew there will be a time where fate may not spare them.

Emotions filled her whole being and her heart ached to let them out. One word formed it all.

"Jack."

Lips nuzzled her neck and softly kissed her cheek.

She turned her head, she wanted to see him. Ask him so many things.

"Why?"

He shook his head and pressed a finger to her lips. "Shh. Just… I want-"Abruptly he released her and sat up, his warmth leaving her.

"Don't," it came out more of a whimper as she looked into his eyes.

"You're drunk, Sam. I want you to remember."

She frowned and placed a hand on the grass, steadying herself and pushed to sit up; to search for answers on his troubled face. "Don't leave."

He looked at the empty bottle. "I won't, just trust me."

She frowned again. What was he saying? What was he telling her?

She trusted him, with every fiber in her being. "I trust you."

"I know." He stood as she felt his strong arms picking her up from the ground. Her head swayed, the world started spinning again but she felt good. Her hand reached up and grasped onto his shirt. It kept her from falling…or maybe his arms did.

They stood before the backyard door and it opened, she saw the TV in the living room pass her by, the paintings in the hallway, it felt like she was floating. Then the hard wooden door of her bedroom and the navy blue blankets of her bed and finally her pillow as she was carefully placed on the mattress. "Jack?"

Pillows were shifted, a blanket pulled over her body and tucked around her, a hand brushed the strands of hair out of her eyes. His eyes came into view. "Trust me, Sam."

"I do."

"I know. Just try to sleep."

"Don't go."

"I won't. I won't leave you behind."

He said and voiced what she had feared all along. How could he know her that well?

But it was all she needed to hear.

The mattress shifted as she felt Jack snuggle up behind her, an arm engulfed her waist and pressed her body against his warmth. Even though her head pounded hard, her stomach twirled and her head kept spinning and spinning, she grabbed his hand and held onto to dear life.

He wouldn't leave her behind and that was all that mattered.

Fighting for control over her emotions, fighting against the alcohol, she turned around and snuggled against his chest, her hand entwining with his. God, she loved this man. She nuzzled his neck, kissing it, tasting it.

"Sam?"

Her other hand reached under his shirt and her nails scratched over his muscled back.

A soft moan escaped his mouth and his hot breath mingled with hers.

Was he going to kiss her? Why wasn't she? Why was she doing this? Why was he there? What was he thinking of when he dragged her off to bed?

Was she sobering up?

Jack must've seen the panic on her face as he reached up and grabbed her shoulder, massaging it to soften his grip. "It's okay, just go to sleep."

"Stay."

"I will, just trust me. Go to sleep, Sam."

"I trust you."

"I know."

It sounded oddly familiar. But the mush in her brain finally gave up. She curled into a little ball and as her breathing eased, she felt Jack's arms engulf her and his lips softly pressing against her forehead, a hand making small circles on her back.

And as she slipped into darkness, as it took her, she smiled.

"I love you." She thought, screamed it out loud in her head and not knowing she actually said it out loud, she drifted into a slumber.

Into fulfilled dreams.

She didn't see the loving gaze Jack had for her, or the warm smile that seemed to burst from his soul. "I love you too, Sam. Always."

~*~*~

_Well that's the end of this Sam and Jack Journey, I hope it made you flee from reality and into blissfull squee-ee-ness._

_And for those that need it; warm hugs ^_^_


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